Five Times Lila Rossi's Lies Failed
by RicardianScholar Clark-Weasley
Summary: Or what the show would look like if the school acted like a school, Rose remembered she knows Prince Ali, everyone else remembers they know Jagged Stone, Nathalie acted like herself, and Max used his brain.


**Author's Note: Inspired by** **LonerQueen18****, thanks for the suggestion. **

**1\. By The School**

College Françoise Dupont, like any other school, had a system in place to prevent truancy.

After every register was electronically sent to the office it was up to the administration staff to check on absentees. It was part of the guidelines of the school for every parent or guardian to phone in if their child was to be absent due to illness or other extenuating circumstances. If the parent or guardian hadn't – as so many were busy and rushed in the morning it was quite easy to forget – it was up to the school to phone them to check where the child was.

This was quite an effective system in it's own right as after the third phone call from school to ask about the whereabouts of one Alya Cesaire had led to her being grounded for a month and sullenly arriving to school on time without a morning segment of trying to stake out Ladybug and Chat Noir and the next Akuma Attack for her blog.

Now then, it is not always assured that the school administration would succeed in contacting said parent or guardian the first time or that they would even be able to contact the first parent or guardian.

That was why every child was required to have four emergency contacts with at least two different phone numbers for the administration office to try.

Some children's contacts were mundane and easy such as Marinette Dupain-Cheng. Her parents business and home numbers were one and the same and they usually picked up instantly to the point no one had ever needed to contact Marinette's godmother Nadja Chamack or her grandmother. Others were exasperating such as Adrien Agreste's whose emergency contact was his father's personal assistant. And some were plain tragic, such as Chloe Bourgeois, whose mother was nowhere near the emergency contact list as a butler, a maid, and the local captain of the police all made the cut first.

Lila Rossi's emergency contact list consisted of both of her parents, the embassy, and a grandmother settled in Italy.

The first day that Lila Rossi hadn't shown up to school and there was no contact from her mother, the administration office tried to call Ms Rossi' home number.

(Lila had repeatedly hung up the phone before answering it and sweetly telling her mother it was a prank caller before bidding her goodbye.)

The next thing the school tried was Ms Rossi's mobile phone number.

(Lila had stolen it and hidden it away under her mattress and steadfastly ignored the loud buzzing as she tried to focus on the movie she selected to watch.)

The school then attempted to phone Ms Rossi at work.

(Her secretary had to apologise and inform them that Ms Rossi was currently unavailable all day due to an important conference.)

With Lila's mother clearly being out of touch for now and the safety and well-being of her only child on the line, the school followed the next step in the protocol...

...They phone _Mr _Rossi instead.

Lila had been slumped across her bad with a large bowl of popcorn watching a romantic comedy when her mother burst into the bedroom. Lila shot up in shock, accidentally knocking the popcorn bowl and sending the treat flying all over the floor.

"_Mama_!" Lila squawked. "I, erm, _it's not what it looks like! _School has been cancelled because of the Ak-"

"Did you have _any_ idea how worried I was?" Her mother hissed fiercely. "I thought you were safe, in school, and then I got a phone call from _your father_ of all people!"

"Papa?" Lila repeated dumbly. "How would Papa know I'm not in school, _he isn't here_!"

Lila hadn't even bothered to disguise the bitterness that has been eating her up for months in her voice. Her parents had gotten a divorce without consulting her and her mother chose to move to France with Lila but without asking her if that was what she wanted. Lila's life had been completely upended by the whims of her parents and now apparently her father thinks he can just butt in whenever from his swanky penthouse suite in Switzerland?

"The school phoned him!" Her mother snapped.

"_Why would the school phone him_?!" Lila snarled. "It's none of his business! It's none of _their_ business either!"

"Why would the school phone him?" Her mother repeated shrilly. "_Why would the school phone him?!_ Well, I'll tell you why the school would phone him! Because it's _their_ _**job**_ to ensure your well-being and safety! Because they were unable to contact _me,_ your first emergency contact, and therefore, undoubtedly with the belief that I am an irresponsible workaholic parent, they phoned your father, who is your second emergency contact, instead!"

It was just on the tip of Lila's tongue to say that her mother _was_ an irresponsible workaholic and Lila hoped the humiliation burned her just as the embarrassment of being called out in front of the cutest boy in all of Europe had burned Lila up from the inside out.

She didn't get the chance whatsoever as her mother held up a commanding hand of silence.

"Don't you dare guilt me because you chose to behave badly!" Her mother barked. "We had discussed this Lila after what happened to Sweden and that sweet girl. Life is unfair and it hurts that we can no longer function as a family with Papa but that is no excuse to skive off from school, make up wild over-exaggerated lies about celebrities and illnesses, or hurt other people in return when they dare call you out for your bad behaviour. You have to own up to your own actions and take responsibility for yourself before you find yourself in a place _far worse_ than being grounded."

Lila didn't say anything in reply to that hurtful tirade. There was no point, her mother could say over and over again that she loved Lila but it was blatantly obvious that wasn't true or she wouldn't be telling Lila off for missing school. Instead, Lila crossed her arms protectively round her chest and shot her mother her fiercest, most deadly, scowl.

_How dare she bring up Greta?!_

Greta wasn't some sweet Swedish girl that Lila had wronged! She was a sanctimonious, self-righteous, holier-than-thou, goody-two-shoes bitch who decided to make Lila's life a misery by interfering with her and her friends. She was just like _Ladybug! _Greta brought her own doom upon herself by not backing off and Lila isn't going to shed a single tear because the girl couldn't hack it after Lila turned the tables on her and tried to slice her wrists open.

Just because Lila wasn't hospitalised like Greta doesn't mean she wasn't the victim in all of this.

"You can pout at me as much as you like," her mother said coldly, "it's not going to change the fact that you're in hot water, young lady! Clearly your father was correct and I allowed you_ far too much_ freedom. Don't deny it, I know you have been making silly tales about celebrities again. Your father told me about your interview on that stupid Ladybug website! Of all the things Lila! _Honestly!_ Hawk Moth could target you for that!"

It took all of Lila's restraint to not reveal that not only had Hawk Moth targeted her but Lila had _loved _the power he bestowed to her and clearly everyone decrying him as an evil villain were just too ashamed of themselves to relish the joy he could bring to them.

If he ever came calling again Lila would grab that butterfly with both hands and a joyful heart.

She would do _anything_ to rip Ladybug apart now.

"...and stealing my mobile phone!" Her mother carried on, unaware that Lila had stopped listening to her a couple minutes ago. "I don't know what to do with you, I really don't. A fresh start with me was obviously the wrong course of action."

And just like that Lila was torn from her fantasy of destroying Ladybug and thrown back to earth with a horrible bump.

"W-w-_what?_!" Lila gasped out. "What do you mean Mama?!"

"Your father and I discussed it and clearly I am unable to keep you in check," her mother said sadly, "but your father thinks he can provide you with the structure and discipline you clearly need and therefore is demanding custody of you."

"YOU'RE SENDING ME AWAY?!" Lila screamed. "You're sending me away _just like that_! For one incy day where I miss school! _What kind of your mother are you?! _I thought you loved me! If you love me, you wouldn't send me away like this!"

Usually this sort of tantrum and guilt trip would have her mother virtually on her knees begging for forgiveness and reassuring Lila that, of course, she was loved and she would never send her away, and they could work this out.

Instead her mother pursued her lips and shook her head. "I am doing this because I do love you, Lila," she said quietly but firmly, "I'm giving you an important lesson in life. You can't behave badly and not expect to suffer the consequences of your actions."

"Mama, no!" Lila cried out. "_Please Mama,_ don't do this! Give me a second chance, I'll be a good girl, you'll see! I'll go to school and stop telling lies and make real friends, _I promise!_ Just don't send me away! Give me another chance!"

"Oh Lila," her mother sighed sadly, "don't you see? This _was _your second chance."

(And on that horrible bitter note, Lila was forced to pack her things away as her mother fished out her mobile phone from beneath Lila's mattress. Lila shrieked, raged, and threw numerous things at the wall but her mother was unmoved and Hawk Moth didn't arrive with magical powers to change what was going to happen.

(On the other side of the city, Gabriel Agreste was too busy running around as an Akuma to trick Ladybug and Chat Noir to sense the potentially fearsome Akuma and therefore forever lost the opportunity.)

Within the week Lila was packed up and shipped away to Switzerland where she found her every move watched closely by her father and the school staff. She would get into trouble frequently and punished far worse than she believed she deserved but that changed nothing as she swore on all that mattered she would one day get her revenge.

Meanwhile all of the students forgot about Lila Rossi within weeks and Marinette lived happily ever after (well, as happily as she could with multiple Akuma attacks every week and her tangled, confused, feelings for Adrien, Luka, and Chat Noir) oblivious to what her school life could have been had her school not followed protocol.)

**2\. By Rose **

It had been fun at first when Ms Bustier took a solid twenty minutes out of class time every week for all of them to talk to Lila.

Lila goes on such adventures and meets such _fascinating_ people! Rose liked to close her eyes later that day and imagine herself in Lila's place as she got to dance in embassy balls and attend exciting events like Jagged Stone's concert at the pyramids. It got to the point that Rose quite look forwards to these Skype sessions in school just to find out what Lila did next.

Yet this time when Lila began to spoke about her trip to Achu and her time raising awareness about pollution with Prince Ali, Rose's excitement faded into confusion as a puzzled frown crossed her face.

Ever since that embarrassing time where she got Akumatised and kidnapped Prince Ali, Rose had remained in contact with the dashing prince.

He was just so kind and sweet, and had forgiven her when she explained what had happened in an instant heartbeat. He reminded her of a little bit of Adrien as he smiled softly and his own pair of emerald green eyes sparkled down at her.

They had remained pen-pals and pen-pals only when Rose realised her romantic feelings for the Prince were out of her love of fairy tales rather than a genuine romantic love for the boy himself. That didn't stop them from being good friends though and just yesterday, Prince Ali sent a long, lovely, email describing all of his work with the children at the local hospital.

He hadn't mentioned Lila at all.

Or the environment.

Rose smelt something rotten.

(And for once it _wasn't_ Chloe's perfume!)

Rose looked up from her phone in time to catch Marinette pointedly questioning Lila. Clearly Marinette didn't believe her either but unfortunately Lila was dodging the questions with such ease that Marinette had no hope of entrapping her with her lies. Rose swelled up with the indignation of it. They put aside an important chunk of their learning to entertain Lila and she couldn't even be honest about _where she is?!_

Without a second thought Rose took a chance and started her own Skype call on her phone.

The stars were clearly aligned in Rose's favour today as Prince Ali answered instantly. "Rose?" He said bewilderedly but cheerfully. "This is a pleasant surprise, aren't you supposed to be in school right now?"

"Erm, yeah," Rose said sheepishly as she felt everyone's eyes bore into her. Her cheeks felt hot and flushed beneath Ms Bustier's unimpressed raised eyebrow. "I'm really sorry to bother you Ali but something fishy is going on and I need your help to confirm something for me."

"No problem," Prince Ali smiled warmly, "I'll be happy to help you in whatever way I can."

"Thank you!" Rose grinned back. "Do you know this girl?"

She then lifted her phone up and turned it round so Prince Ali could see Lila Rossi on the projected screen in school. Ms Bustier looked taken back that Rose had called up a royal prince of a foreign country without any obstacles getting in the way. Her surprise quickly turned into intrigue as she eyed Prince Ali on Rose's phone and Lila's face on the board. She clearly wanted to know the answer to Rose's question as well.

Judging by the sickly pallor Lila's skin took as a vicious, murderous, glare screwed up her usually pretty features, Rose was fairly confident the answer was _**no**_. Still though, she wished to hear Prince Ali to say it. Just to firmly put an end to these nonsensical lies before something terrible happened to someone Rose cared about.

"I can assure you," Prince Ali said calmly, "that I have _never_ seen this girl before in my life."

"I see," Rose said softly, "and you're not working on the campaign for environmental awareness, are you?"

"Environmental awareness is an important and admirable cause but no," Prince Ali said diplomatically, "my heart has always been in helping children who are less fortunate than myself."

"Thank you Ali," Rose said, "that's all I needed to know. I'm sorry to have bothered you for such a minor inconvenience."

"It's not a bother at all," Prince Ali said firmly, "if someone is lying about me and my family then you are only being a good friend by making me aware of the situation. Please pass on the details about this _person_," he said the word as if it was an insult and Rose understood that it was taking all of his princely decorum and etiquette to not give in and call Lila Rossi a bitch. "I'll then have the security team ensure that she never steps foot in Achu."

"Sure thing, Ali!" Rose chirped. "I'll leave to enjoy what little free time you have left now."

"Call me Saturday for your band's rehearsal?" Prince Ali asked hopefully. "I have some free time then."

"I'll speak to you on Saturday," Rose promised solemnly.

The call ended on that warm, friendly, note as Ms Bustier slowly turned to face Lila who looked downright murderous. Thank God Ladybug and Chat Noir were so competent or Rose might actually fear a deadly Akuma out for her blood any second.

"Well then," Ms Bustier said stiffly, "If you're not in Achu, Lila, _where_ exactly are you?"

"_Oh_!" Lila said shrilly in an attempt sound sweet. All it resulted in was a horrifying effect of nails down the chalkboard as everyone in the classroom grimaced and winced. "I think there are some technical difficulties! I can't _quite_ hear you and _obviously_ you can't hear me properly because I _never_ said I was in Achu with Prince Ali!"

The whole class started to shout at that point. Indignant bellows, insults, and loud raging at being lied to buzzed throughout the room.

"And now my screen doesn't appear to be working!" Lila called out over Alya's furious ranting. "I'll have to go and get my laptop checked. _Buh-bye_!"

(Ms Bustier did her job properly for once and paid a visit to the Rossi household later that evening.

To say that Ms Rossi was furious to hear that Lila had been bunking school and lying to both her class and her mother on her whereabouts would be an _understatement _and a half. Lila was hastily sent to live with her strict catholic grandparents in order to learn how to behave while Ms Bustier spent weeks soothing her pupils to prevent further Akumatisations. Alya, in particular, had been a tiring challenge as she wailed over and over again how Lila ruined her blog.

The Royal Family of Achu sued Lila for libel and no one, in any part of the world, ever trusted her word again.

Marinette, however, flourished in the fashion industry having secure an important internship with a magnificent pink rock dress.

She had made it as a thank you to Rose.)

**3\. By The Fact Everyone Has Already Met Jagged Stone (And are Jagged Stone Fans)**

At first everyone was eating out of Lila's hand just as she intended to them.

It took a meek and humble persona (which was as fake as Ladybug) to get her _oh-all-ever-so concerned_ and _gullible_ classmates to question her gently and reassuringly. With the talent of an Oscar-winning actress, Lila had them all convinced that she suffered from tinnitus and needed to sit and a front. And then, with her usual masterful manipulation, Lila was able to orchestrate changing the seating plan of the classroom entirely.

It had been her plan to ensure that awful _Marinette Dupain-Cheng_, the sly bitch who had Adrien Agreste shower her in gifts, was isolated and alone so Lila could continue to usurp her place in Adrien's affections.

It was working too.

Marinette had dug herself deeper and deeper into a hole as she tried to prove Lila was lying while looking like a discriminating bully against the disabled. Lila played it up and went to spout out how exactly she got her disability.

She had done a quick scan on all of her classmates' Facebook pages and they all shared one great common interest.

Jagged Stone.

If they thought Lila was friends with him, they would beg to serve her on their hands and knees for a chance meeting!

However this was the exact moment everything suddenly change on Lila.

Instead of looking impressed the whole class stared at her with bland, unimpressed, expressions while Marinette Dupain-Cheng merely looked triumphant.

"Dude," Nino said flatly, "there's no need to _lie_."

"What?" Lila squeaked. "I'm not lying! _Why would I lie?_ I have an impressive history of knowing all sorts of famous and influential people. Jagged just happens to be one of them."

"You're lying nonetheless," Max said calmly, "your reaction to such an accusation speaks volumes of how much you are lying right now."

"_I'm not lying_!" Lila insisted furiously. "I know Jagged! I rescued his cat! He wrote a beautiful appreciative song about me called Lila and donates money to charities that support people with tinnitus just for me!"

"Liar," Juleka muttered, "Jagged doesn't have a song called Lila."

"Yeah!" Nino cried out. "I know the rock n' roll dude's discography inside and out and there is definitely no song called _Lila._"

"Not too mention!" Mylene huffed. "That Jagged Stone _doesn't even have a cat! _He has a crocodile named Fang and he's really nice and cuddly!"

"This was before Fang!" Lila blurted out hurriedly.

"_Liar_!" Ivan snorted. "Jagged is allergic to animal fur."

"It was before he found out he was allergic to animal fur," Lila said firmly between gritted teeth, "he was devastated when he had to give away his cat."

"Jagged Stone has known about his allergy to fur since he was five," Max said dryly, "and before you state you knew him back then I will remind you that Jagged is thirty seven and unless you're claiming to have invented time travel as well, you're _lying._"

"I think there must be some sort of misunderstanding," Lila said forcefully, "we must be thinking of two different Jagged Stones."

"_HA_!" Chloe threw her head back derisively. "Who the hell are you trying to kid? These losers are major die-hard Jagged Stone fans. That was why I purposely orchestrated an autograph signing with him in attempts to win their votes for Class President. They know everything about Jagged Stone, they have even met him _twice_. In fact Adri-kins and the three stooges that follow him," Alya, Nino, and Marinette all snarled at Chloe at the insult casually tossed their way, "and all won tickets to his concert and spent an evening backstage. _Marinette,_" Chloe wrinkled her nose in disgust, "is Jagged Stone's personal designer and has even had him over at her house on live television! If you wanted to lie about a connection with a celebrity you should have picked literally _anyone else_ but Jagged Stone."

Lila was beginning to see that.

She inwardly kicked herself for not doing her research properly. She was supposed to be artist of a liar, not some _tabloid writer_ who posts things willy nilly without double checking her sources.

"Yeah, I don't know what crap you're trying to pull," Alix crossed her arms fiercely, "but none of us are going to buy this fairy tale made up shit about Jagged Stone and a _cat. _So either 'fess up to lying or just sit in the back because I really doubt you have tinnitus at this point."

"I think it's pretty clear now that Lila just wanted to sit next to Adrien," Nathaniel said darkly, "she's one of _those_ fangirls."

It took all of Lila's self-control to not swallow at the glowers she suddenly received from the class. She nervously glanced at the teacher who had been uselessly quiet during the whole thing and found that the teacher was purposely staring at a spot on the wall and humming to herself. _Urgh!_ She was definitely one of _those_ useless types who thinks kids should work it out between themselves! This would normally be a victory for Lila but never before has a class turned on her this rapidly before.

She had lost control of the room for the first time since she was seven and she had no idea what to do.

Her classmates decided for her...by ignoring her completely.

It was then when Lila's supposedly adoring fans all swapped their seats to sit back where they belonged and began to pull out their phones or start talking to one another. Much to Lila's everlasting fury Marinette Dupain-Cheng slipped into the sit behind Adrien and stammered annoyingly as Adrien focused his entire attention onto her plain, boring, face.

_He ought to be gazing adoringly at Lila instead! _

No matter what Lila said or did for the rest of the day none of them bothered to listen to her.

(Lila's face turned so red at this point that everyone thought her head was going to explode. She then figuratively _did _explode when she instantly got Akumatised and livened up what would have been an incredibly boring Monday afternoon.

Every so often after this Lila had attempted to claim to know some big name or suffered from some dramatic injury or disease only to have the class respond with exaggerated eye rolls and walking away.

By the time Lila finally moved from France she had become the most Akumatised person in the city. She had even beat Mr Pigeon, _who showed up every week!_)

**4\. By Nathalie**

The moment Nathalie laid eyes on the extremely uncomfortable Adrien and the aggressively clingy and smirking Lila Rossi, her protective instincts flared up instantaneously. She had dealt with enough psychotic sly fangirls who had targeted either Gabriel or Emilie in the past to recognise one miles off and this particularly smug brat had crazy written all over her to the point even a _blind_ person could see it.

The child simpered and acted all-ever-so-charismatic as she babbled out the biggest pile of bullshit Nathalie heard since Andre Bourgeois's campaign speech about Adrien failing in class and being worried about being pulled out.

(Though in all fairness, if Adrien was to ever fail Gabriel probably_ would_ pull the poor boy out of school and return him to the intensive one-on-one teaching from tutors.)

It was as if this brat didn't think Nathalie kept track of Adrien's grades. That Nathalie didn't call the school constantly and made reports to Gabriel so he could remain in the know about his only child (because Lord knows, Gabriel would forget he had a child sometimes he was so over-worked these days). That this stupid, foolish, lying girl didn't know that Nathalie was a personal assistant to one of the great fashion designers and therefore dealt with her kind a dozen times over in the last year alone.

"You're a very charming liar," Nathalie said flatly as she grabbed hold of Adrien and pulled him in quickly, "but a very stupid one as well if you don't think I know already that Adrien slipped a couple points in the last test. It wasn't to his usual standard but the situation isn't dire enough for him to need someone who has skipped the last _six months _of school to help tutor him."

Lila's mouth dropped open and closed rapidly like a gormless fish. Her cheeks grew redder and redder by the second to the point she was almost purple with rage. It was clear as the sound that caught in her throat that an explosion of indignant fury would pour out of her any second.

"You may leave now," Nathalie carried on uncaringly, "and _never _come back. If you do come back I will have no hesitation whatsoever to set the hounds on you. Goodbye."

And on that incredibly restrained and polite note (because believe her, Nathalie so desperately wished she could slap the brat before she sent her away), Nathalie calmly slammed the door in Lila Rossi's face.

"But Nathalie," Adrien said bewilderedly, "we don't have any hounds."

"I will personally purchase some just to set them on her," Nathalie vowed. "A person like _that,_ Adrien, is dangerous and your safety is paramount to me and your father."

"But _Nathalie_!" Adrien protested in a particularly whiny voice he picked up from his fellow teenagers. "Lila could get Akumatised and-"

"_Good!_" Nathalie snapped.

A furious and dangerous Akuma? Exactly what Gabriel needs to defeat Ladybug and Chat Noir and Nathalie had no problem assisting by pissing off every deranged fangirl she encountered if that was what it took.

"Perhaps it will teach her a lesson to not invite herself into other people's homes," Nathalie added more softly as she caught sight of Adrien's horrified expression. The boy was so _sensitive_ and _empathetic_! Gabriel was right to keep his 'evil-doing' from his son. Adrien would _never_ understand. "But if the thought of Lila Rossi becoming an Akuma terrifies you this much Adrien then that definitely suggests that this is a girl to stay away from. _Far away_."

"If I could I would," Adrien mumbled, "but she's in my class."

"Not for much longer," Nathalie said firmly as her eyes flashed determinedly, "I won't let some impertinent child have such an effect on your mental health and well-being."

And on that note Nathalie delightfully spent the afternoon filing a retraining order against Lila Rossi while Gabriel had super fun Akumatising Lila Rossi. Sadly his afternoon had not been a successful one as Ladybug miraculously pulled out a victory at the last minute (again) but Nathalie's certainly had been.

She smiled smugly as she treated herself to a decaf coffee for the first time in months and slept like a baby through the night.

(Because of Nathalie's restraining order, Lila Rossi was forced to move schools.

The class overall had been disappointed at first but, as if by magic, logic and common sense kicked in and they realised Lila couldn't have been telling the truth about everything and moved on as if they had never heard the name Lila Rossi.

Marinette went back to being radiantly happy, Adrien was enrolled in lessons with Nathalie to learn to tell crazy clingy girls the word no (and boy, did _Chloe_ get a shock a few weeks later), and Lila suffered incredibly as she was grounded until her eighteenth birthday.)

**5\. By Max **

When Max witnessed Lila catch the balled up napkin something just clicked into his mind.

As Lila continued to wail out some nonsense about paper napkins poking out people's eyes and squeeze out a few crocodile tears in order to look like a victim under Marinette's self-righteous glare, a horrifying realisation smacked into Max hard. It had smacked into him so hard that he almost doubled over from the pain.

She was _lying_.

Well, _of course_ she was lying! What nonsense is this about his eye being poked out? But she was really, really, _really_ lying. Not just about the paper napkin (and Max couldn't believe that **ALIX **and **KIM** who could usually smell bullshit miles away were nodding like a pair of bubble heads at such nonsense) but about her arthritis as well.

(And probably everything else as Marinette would never had been so viciously against someone unless they were a liar. _Max knew that! _He had known Marinette for _four year_s now! Marinette _hated _liars!).

She had lied to them to make them do stuff for her.

Even _Chloe_ hadn't fallen that low in her Queen Bitch routine.

An overwhelming sensation of fury, indignation, and humiliated hurt bubbled up within the pit of Max's stomach as he stood up to glare fully at Lila.

"You're lying," he said quietly.

The whole room – barring Marinette who grinned manically at this – gasped melodramatically before they fell silent.

"W-w-_what_?!" Lila stammered as her eyes welled up with big, fat, and so clearly fake, tears. "Max, what are you saying?! Why would you make such a cold and cruel accusation about me? Is this _Marinette's_ doing?! She's turning all of my friends against me!"

Marinette bristled furiously as Lila wailed the last part as melodramatically and loudly as Chloe would cry for her Mayor Daddy. Their classmates began to mutter darkly amongst themselves as they began to fall Lila's deceitful web of stupidity and drama. Max stiffened with self-righteous fury as suddenly the rose-tinted glasses had been lifted and he could see this glamorous, exotic, girl for who she really was.

Another Chloe, but _worse_.

"Marinette," Max said firmly, "has _nothing_ to do with this. It's just that I, unlike other people who have lied so blatantly too in the past apparently, _actually _have a brain. When taking into consideration the weight of the paper napkin and the speed it would have to go to inflict any sort of harm upon my person there is no logical way that the napkin Marinette had thrown would have hurt me whatsoever."

His fellow classmates stopped grumbling as they leaned into listen to Max.

He was gratified that his mind and calculations were so well known by his fellow classmates and therefore they were more inclined to believe him over Lila's crocodile tears any day. He just wished, he realised with a sad clarity, that they had all trusted Marinette's own hurt feelings instead of falling for Lila's lies earlier on today.

"The paper napkin would also be unable to cut me in the eye due to it's softness and lack of sharp corners," Max carried on confidently, "after all, not only had Marinette scrunched it up into a ball so there is no corner to cut my eye, but it is a napkin made of _tissue paper _and not cardboard. Therefore the likelihood of me receiving even a paper cut when wiping my hands with the napkin is far below zero."

"_That doesn't mean I'm lying_!" Lila blurted out hastily. "This happened in India where things are different. Their paper napkins are so rough they might as well be made of cardboard!"

"You're still lying," Max said flatly, "I know you're lying and I will always know you are lying. Do you know why I know you're lying?"

Stunned at being caught out and the lack of angry, easily to manipulate reaction (and Max realises that poor Marinette with her indignant fury had walked _right into_ Lila's arms for her little games with such terrifying ease), Lila shook her head bewilderedly.

"..._I wear glasses_," Max finished as he pushed up his glasses to emphasise his point. "So even if you were right about a flimsy soft tissue napkin having the ability to take out someone's eye. It wouldn't be able to take _**mine**_."

These final words and gesture was the final nail in Lila's lying coffin as the whole class promptly turned on her for making them act like her slaves.

Marinette, however, swooned just a little at Max's cool and calm dissembling of Lila's lies.

If it wasn't for her massive, never-ending, crush on Adrien she would probably fall in love with Max right there on the spot.

(Lila got Akumatised pretty much instantly after this and disguised herself as Max in order to discredit him. No one had believed this and Ladybug and Chat Noir easily cured her and sent her back to school.

With everyone's believe in Lila shattered, the liar found herself shunned to the back of the classroom while everyone else grovelled for Marinette's forgiveness. Lila scoffed loudly as Marinette gave it _way too _easily and undeservedly so but she was duly ignored and continued to be for the rest of the year.

Lila transferred out as her mother was sent to work in Germany.

No one missed her.)


End file.
